Last night I had a dream
Woke up in cold sweats, piercing the night with my hollow scream
I saw myself in front of your grave
Clad in black, my face depraved
Robbed of faith, believe and justice
Contemplating all of God’s injustice
The pain and grief it caused were so vivid
It left me wondering whether I actually lived it
Your friends and family gathered for a final goodbye
I solemnly wished, that it was me who had died
My fists clenched and my mind suicidal
The air thick with the muffled tears of broken hearts
Separated by a line I could not cross
You were right in front of me, yet so far apart
My soul ripped to shreds by my loss

The early december snow, disguising your tombstone
An idyllic scene, falsely shielding your withering bones
A single dying rose, a couple of candles
Simply too much for me to handle
For days I did nothing but stare at the wall
Despising myself for not answering your call
That night before we got the news
Loathing my decision, the route I choose
Had I acted differently, would you still be here today?
Or were you destined to be an angel , that went astray?
Haunted during the day, lifeless at night, I’m going insane
The imprinted image of your body slain
Please God, there is too much pain

©Alexander Berg Mattsson

**Author’s Note**
Never have I been happier to wake up from a dream.


7 thoughts on “Enslavement

  1. Pete Armetta says:

    Destined to be an angel no doubt. This is such an empathetic and tender and vivid piece of writing. I felt like I was there with you, and can personally relate to the scene and feelings about it too. Nice one Alex, you never fail to impress and tug at the heartstrings!

  2. readinpleasure says:

    “Haunted during the day, lifeless at night, I’m going insane, The imprinted image of your body slain. Please God, there is too much pain” I can feel your despair, agony; the vivid imagery of the body, reminding you of the horror; making you frantic that you could have done something to
    prevent this, and the final supplication to God to ease the pain. So powerful and moving.

    Enslavement! Enslavement to pain, remorse, to a memory that will never leave you. Great poem

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