“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Lao Tzu
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about love and the dreadful task of telling somebody that you love them for the first time. Since I recently cut the safety line, took on my blindfold and leaped into the adventure that is a new relationship, I have spent numerous hours trying to decipher what the vaguest of terms actually means to me, namely: “love“.
After a couple of soul-searching sessions, (with old scriptures and paintings, some google searches and some text message conversations) I have finally defined what I, TPG, mean when I say that I love somebody: To me, it all boils down to whether you can picture yourself living a happy life without the person in question. If the answer to the question is “YES”, you probably don’t love him/her enough (or at all), but if you feel that electrifying sting, that only sudden heartbreak can cause, whenever you picture losing that person, you most definitely love that person. It doesn’t have to be harder than that.
After I came to this conclusion, and the mandatory jubilant self-high five, I began to map out the people that I actually love enough to be miserable without. The list was quite significant, so I decided to add another dimension to this inner debate of mine, namely: whether or not I’d prefer death over losing the person at hand. This wasn’t that helpful, since I have known for quite some time now, that I’d prefer to “leave” before everybody that I love, since I don’t fear death, but I do fear being the last one left. However, I know that my parents, grandparents and older siblings would hunt me down in the afterlife if I died in their place, and the same can be said about the few friends I call my “bros”, and after realizing that, I understood just how lucky I am, to love people that undeniably love me as well.