I’m going to tell you a little story. A story about an unhealthy and draining relationship. It’s not going to be the best written, well-reasoned or the most original story ever created. I do promise it will be completely honest though.
A relationship isn’t always between two people, or even between animate creatures what so ever. A relationship can be the relationship between one and ones favorite music, ones commitment to a specific piece of literature and so on. My story is about the relationship between a person and his/her own mind. It’s about the complete and utter shit-hole of a place that is your own fucking mind. A story about the sense of being caught between two different personalities, the feeling of being entrapped in your own mind. This person I knew, let’s call her Mary, was always around a while back. The remarkable thing about Mary was her uncannily resemblance of my own self. I watched from a distance as she swept in and completely digested my beloved friend, let’s call him Sal for now. He was an empty shell after a while. Completely drained of emotions. Like that Frank Ocean song “Novacane”. Nothing seemed to get to him. He was numb. Emotionless. If you saw him going through emotions, you could take for granted that Sal was just going through the motions. Doing what was expected of him. A break-up is supposed to fuck you up a little, so he acted a little hurt, betrayed etc. The usual charade. I could sense his devotion to this Mary character. A breath of fresh air for me personally at first, but when I saw what she did to Sal I turned on her. She became the anti-christ in my eyes.
To be continued…
©Alexander Berg Mattsson, 2012