Runaway

Painted myself into a corner, but I am not square
The defective piece of the puzzle and it is not fair
That “home is where the heart is” when it’s not here
(and) If happiness is “just around the corner“, how come I can’t get there?
Meanwhile my mind is absorbing itself and I fear
That I’m losing the man I can no longer see
and turning into the man I no longer want to be
(and) if the world is all sunshine and rainbows, I must be colorblind
While you ask for wealth, health and fortunes:
I ask for peace of mind.

All I want is normalcy
I want to be part of “the community”
But conforming is just absurd to me
So now my peculiarities is a burden to me
but still I feel isolated
The bittersweet taste of contradiction I have tasted
and the bliss of my self-growth feels wasted (as)
I know now that what keeps you alive can also kill you
For I have looked all over but can no longer feel you
You are my anchor in the storm (and)
When my heart is cold, you are the one who keeps me warm
(and) I’m tired of being the odd man out
Tired of being the one they whisper about
Tired of being the only one with ambition and drive
Tired of being the only one prepared to really try
Tired of having my goals described as “dreams”
Tired of being who I am, or so it seems
But when it all comes crashing down:
I would rather be me.
Free.

©Alexander Berg Mattsson, 2013
https://www.facebook.com/thepoeticgoblin

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14 thoughts on “Runaway

  1. doncarroll says:

    nice piece alex. I would be inclined to believe that when one is a writer or poet we are on the outer edge looking into mainstream. we are kinda in it but we really don’t fit into that mold. as to myself, being introverted has a lot to do with that. I don’t need to be immersed around lots of people. I can get by being alone for periods of time. but I do like to be around those that have some depth. that is when I enjoy being around others.

  2. lscotthoughts says:

    Alex, this is awesome; it gave me chills, so emotional and then the ending of wanting to be free, perfect! You have many great lines here, but the 2 lines below were profound:

    (and) If happiness is “just around the corner“, how come I can’t get there?
    (and) if the world is all sunshine and rainbows, I must be colorblind

    I’m sure we’ve all had these same questions in our lives…

    It’s good to see you back again and take care,
    Lauren 🙂

  3. unwrittentruth says:

    wow. this is amazing. i’ve definitely felt this way before… i’m kind of speechless. besides to say, that i agree, inner peace is so much greater a blessing than those other. and i pray you find it. and by the way, i’m sure it is more than just dreams… it is those set apart… that find the highest way… for a group can’t make the narrow journey of greatness. best of wishes for you & your peace, my friend ~Unwritten truth

    ps. i wrote this a while back, & this made me think maybe you’d like to read it… http://unwrittentruth.wordpress.com/2012/01/22/the-lost-crowd/ (ps. the one before & after it, i think you might like too if you have time)…

    1. thepoeticgoblin says:

      You were right, I did like your piece. Especially the final line about the crowd being wrong.

      I’m really glad that you liked this one and I definitely rate inner-peace higher than most material possessions etc.

  4. Nanda says:

    This is so awesome in so many levels, Alex! I love the subject, choice of words, rhyme, rhythm… And as Lauren pointed, I’m sure we all feel like that a lot: but you put it all together so well! Good job!

    1. thepoeticgoblin says:

      Thank you, Nanda! Really glad that it reached you on so many levels. Yes, I guess that’s one of the “downsides” (sort of) of being a writer. We tend to step out of the box and observe it rather than inhabit it.

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